Tips on Tipping

It's customary to tip those vendors who have helped make your wedding day special, but how do you know how much to tip? It's best to keep this tipping schedule in mind when you figure out your budget. That way, you don't get stuck the day of with no money left and vendors who feel slighted.



This list comes from Sharon Naylor, author of The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette.



Event planner (optional) 10-20 percent of your bill.

Note: If you are planning to tip your consultant, try to hire one with packages that offer fixed costs instead of a planner who charges by the hour or based on services provided. This makes it much easier to budget your tip into your overall costs.



Officiant $50-$100



Ceremony musicians $20-$30



Reception site manager 15-20 percent of the entire reception site bill



Valets $1-$2 per car



Waiters $20-$30 each (depending on service quality)

Note: Some catering services or reception locations may include a tip for the waiters in the cost. Be sure to ask so you know whether or not to tip.



Bartenders 15 percent of the liquor bill

Note: Some catering services or reception locations may include a tip for the bartenders in the cost. Be sure to ask so you whether or not to tip.



Coat Check $1 per coat



Photographer/Videographer $30-$100 or more (unless these vendors own their own studios)



Delivery Workers $10 each if only dropping items off, $20 each if dropping off and setting up.



Tent Assemblers $20 each, more if the tent is complicated or if flooring is also put down.



Reception Musicians $25-$30 each, $50-$100 for a DJ



Hair and Makeup 15 to 20 percent of the bill



Cleanup crew $20 each



Limo Drivers 15 to 20 percent of the transportation bill.

Note: Sometimes the tip has been included in the cost of the bill, so be sure to ask if it's included.

Albuquerque Turkey

My husband and two children and I are leaving for Albuquerque, New Mexico tomorrow. We are excited to be getting out of town for a few days but dreading the 10-13 hours in the car with a two year old and a four year old. My husband is originally from Arlington, TX, I am from Waynesboro, VA, and I like to believe that fate brought us together in New Mexico. We both moved from the east coast within weeks of each other, we first met at Chili's restaurant where we waited tables together. Friendship turned into dating and dating into marriage. Both of our children were born in Albuquerque so it will be neat to take them back.



New Mexico is such a beautiful state. It gets more sunshine than any other state in the US, including "The sunshine state". A film studio was recently opened there because of the diverse scenery that is available to film directors and producers. Just about any landscape that's desired can be found somewhere in the state. The food is fantastic as well! If you've ever had green chili then you will understand that since moving Texas, my husband and I are longing for green chili. It's in everything in New Mexico!! Hatch, New Mexico is where the best green chilies are grown and then shipped all over the southwest. The official state question is actually "red or green?" That's because on just about anything you order you will be asked if you want red or green-chilies of course!


If you ever have a chance to visit the state I highly recommend seeing the Taos Gorge Bridge. There is a scene from the movie Natural Born Killers where Micky and Malory get married on the bridge. They carve their initials on it, supposedly those initials really are there but in the many times I have been, I have yet to find them.

Anyway, it will be really nice to escape Big D for a few days and retreat to a place that's known for putting things off until tomorrow.

It cannot hurt to ask

Getting the dress....that's one of the most exciting parts of planning a wedding. If you order your dress it takes about 4 months to come in. Then you are looking at another 4-6 weeks for alterations/fittings, depending on what needs to be done. One of by brides is getting married in January and as of early last week- still did not have a dress. It was not for lack of trying mind you, our first several attempts did not yield the "wow" look on her face. I insist on that face when I help my brides with thier dresses. You may only wear it for a few hours, but they are some of the most important hours of your life. Anyway, we finally hit a stroke of luck and great timing. She called me and told me about this dress that "she had to have". I looked it up on the designer's website and contacted a local store where that dress was said to be carried. The lady I spoke with said it would take 4 months to come in but that if my bride could fit a size 4, they had one in the warehouse that she could purchase. I called the bride right away and told her that she had an appointment early that afternoon to try a size 4 dress. She called me back later that day and said it was a perfect fit and her dress (the one in the warehouse) would be here at the end of November. PERFECT!! Except last week the store called her to tell her that it would be the end of December and that the dress in the warehouse had a longer train than they originally thought. She would need to pay an additional $250.00 for that one, or order a new dress. The bride and I both agreed that since it was not her fault that the dress had a longer train than the store thought she should not have to pay the additional fee. I called the store and asked, "can we reduce or eliminate this fee?" The lady I spoke with said she would look into it and call me back. Sure enough, she called me about an hour later and said she got the price down to only $100.00 extra. SOLD!! The bride was happy and so was I. The point is, don't be afraid to ask for what you want or feel is fair. You may be surprised who agrees with you and is willing to help you out!

Mr. Thunder

Tonight there was a thunder storm and my 4 year old and 2 year old were nervous. They both stumbled into the living room where my husband and I were, sleepy eyed and mumbling, they announced that they wanted to sleep in our bed. "It's okay", I said, as I carried the 2 year old back to her bed. My 4 year old followed and climbed back into her own bed.

I sat there for a moment thinking about how I could help soothe their fears. I wanted to say, "don't be upset, what good is that going to do?" But you cannot speak to young children as you would adults. So instead I explained that Mr. Thunder speaks loudly because he is outside, and therefore uses his outside voice. Mr. Thunder has never been inside and so he is unaware of the use of the inside voice. I went on to explain that Mr. Thunder does not mean to scare anyone, he is just loud. And that he brings us rain; which helps the flowers to be beautiful, the grass green, and it gives all the animals in the wild something to drink.

Heavy little eyelids slowly closed and the girls were fast asleep.

Being affraid of thunder is something that I think every child experiences. Much like every bride becomes stressed and worried at some point during the planning process, it's natural. But much like I told my children (in little kid terms) allowing yourself to become upset will do no good. Remember that the scary thunder brings rain, and the rain brings beautiful flowers. The stressful times while planning your wedding will yield a beautiful result.

Just Shoot Me!

Photography can take up a significant portion of your budget, costing anywhere from $1000 to upwards of $2500. When you are on a strict budget or working with very little, it can be difficult to find someone who will produce quality photographs for you at a price you can afford. For the bride in this situation, I recommend a "shoot and drop" photographer. This means the photographer will shoot digital takes of your wedding and reception and then give you a disc with all the takes on it. This gives you the freedom the develop the ones you want to, make multiple copies of your favorites and it's an easy way to distribute pictures to family. Simply upload the pictures to your computer and send them as attachments. You can also use an online photo service such as Shutterfly to upload your pictures to. Then give your friends and family your personalized Shutterfly wedding website and they can order prints and other items that they be interested in. You can often times find someone who uses this style for around $800. I used this type of photographer for my wedding and I loved it. I have every single picture that was taken, I did not have to choose 30-50 like some other photographers ask you to do.

The Hyperventilating Bride

This is my first blog. I thought it would be fun to share some of my experiences, the mishaps and musings, to hopefully lay to rest the idea of a "perfect wedding day."

The judge was late and the already nervous bride was growing more anxious by the minute. Finally the coordinator of the event came and ushered the bridesmaids' to their place just inside the french doors which lead to the garden. The bride could hear the string trio begin to play and before she knew what was happening it was her turn to grace the aisle. Panic struck her, she began hyperventilating. Her father had to coax her down the aisle, talking to her the whole way. Upon reaching the outstretched hand of her husband- to- be the bride immediately felt calm and the ceremony went off without a hitch. At the reception the bride took one look at her cake and nearly fainted, again. The florist had put so much baby's breath on the cake that it looked like the baby's breath at eaten the wedding cake. The bride was horrified and amused. It was a delicious cake.

Cake and flowers and decorations and DJs are not really the point of a wedding celebration. They are the minor details that are meant to compliment and showcase the bride and groom. It's a day for family to come together and celebrate one of the oldest traditions of mankind.

That bride was me. And despite the judge being late, my pictures clearly displaying my terror as I walked down the aisle, and the flowers that ate my cake, it was a fantastic wedding! Friends and family still tell me it was one of the most beautiful and special weddings they have ever been to. That was 4 years ago.